Chapter 9: The House

Home is where the heart is.

“Who owns this house?” Chambers asked, wondering who owned the house and who were these people the old woman was talking about. Since waking up in the forest, nothing has made sense to him. Where were the railroad tracks? Where did the path lead? Who is this old woman?

“Father,” replied the old woman.

“Your father owns the house?” Chambers questioned.

“Not my father. We call the person who lives there Father. He was the only person here when I woke up. After all my years of living here, the only other people that I’ve met have been like you, lost in the woods,” the old woman said.

Continuing to walk with the old woman down the path, the detective in Chambers continued to lead the conversation. “Where are the other people that you have met? Are they at the house too?”

The old woman said, “No, they left a long time ago. They don’t stay long, and many years pass by between visitors.”

“Where did they go?” Chambers pressed.

“To see Father, as I said. Everyone goes to the house to see Father,” the old woman replied

Chambers seemed to end up with more questions than answers. “Ok, then tell me about Father. Who is he and what does he do?”

Old woman responded, “We don’t know much about him. He doesn’t talk. He just stands there in front of the window like a statue.” As she continues to talk, the couple rounds the corner of the path. In the distance, a large structure begins to appear.

After an hour of listening to the advice for the old lady regarding meeting Father, the two travelers exited the woods and reached the structure. “I should tell you that those that see him are apprehensive at first. They feel that he is the last person you would want to see, yet at the same time he is a welcomed sight,” the old woman stated.

Walking to the opened doorway, Chambers noticed that the old woman stopped a few steps back. “Aren’t you coming in with me?”

“No, I cannot. Everyone that comes to Father meets him alone,” the old woman stated while motioning Chambers to proceed.

Chambers stood there; looking into the darkness that lay beyond the doorway, and then turned back towards the old woman. “I forgot to ask. What’s your name?”

“Babs,” the old woman replied. “Everyone calls me Babs.”

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4 Responses to Chapter 9: The House

  1. ilikeverin says:

    “‘Who owns this house?’ Chambers asked, wondering who owned the house ” – Redundant!

    Other than that, this is a well-written section. I like how Chambers is curious, but there’s a good explanation behind it. Normally in situations like this characters can’t stop asking questions, but it makes no sense at all for them to do so. In this case it does, and you can credit your writing for it.

    I’m kind of worried about stereotypicality again, though; meeting with God after death is so cliche 😉

  2. admin says:

    hahaha . . . you’re right. I just noticed that. See what happens when you type when you’re tired? 🙂 Thanks for pointing that out.

  3. Ethel says:

    Paragraph 10: change “couple” to pair

    Maybe a description of the house? He’s a detective and it’s written from his perspective.

    I’m a little confused as to why the others come and go and yet the old lady stays. It’s odd. Maybe this tie is explained later and I’m getting ahead of the story/

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